


Fate

by vogue91



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Frustration, Hurt, Introspection, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 03:03:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13825122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: Fate had this in store for us and nothing more. And you stay there, motionless, whilst I lie to myself telling you that today there’s nothing I can do to cross the barriers separating us.





	Fate

Farewell. What else could I say? What words would my this situation better, this strange vortex of feeling that can’t leave me alone?

Let me know what else I could say to _you_ Gwen, Guinevere, if you could possibly hear me.

You knew it right from the start that you and me could never become us, that destiny was marked by the different source of our blood, in this foolish realm, ignorant of the fact that you’re likely far more noble than I’ll ever be.

Fate had this in store for us and nothing more. And you stay there, motionless, whilst I lie to myself telling you that today there’s nothing I can do to cross the barriers separating us. You keep your usual calm, you don’t let go to those screams, those protests that I subconsciously hoped to hear.

Evil fate for sure, Gwen, that which keep us apart, that putting me on a pedestal that today, for the first time, I’m starting to hate.

Evil fate quieting you, leaving you alone with your desperation, and with a shadow of resignation on your face which hurts me worse than having to leave you there, in your hands just a vain promise of future.

One day I will be king, Guinevere. I will be your king. And you know how much I want for you to be by my side, always able to sustain me, day after day, going together toward eternity.

But I don’t own that eternity, and I can’t give it to you. There’s nothing I own, not even the strength necessary to admit to myself that what I feel is taking over me, is sinking me.

How can one be a good king, facing mortal dangers but then letting himself being scared by fear of his own emotions? How can one be a good king, knowing how to kill a man with his bare hands but not how to face fate, how to keep quiet the whispers of destinies and formality, all those grim voices yelling that it’s wrong what he’s doing?

And what is wrong? My abandoning you today or not knowing whether tomorrow I’ll be brave enough to come and get you?

It was all much more simpler when you thought I was just a braggart living for glory. At times it happens that I accomplish deeds that surprise me too, but it’s not legitimate for this thinking I’m a better person than I actually look.

And all this brought me into the sweetest charm of the lips of a servant, a servant that to me is far more important than any princess in the world, Gwen, and you know this too. Except I can’t be the prince you desire.

For the first time since I was born, I wish I could go against my father’s orders, let magic flow free and ask to people today I despise so much a remedy for all of this, a potion making my blood red just like yours.

But in this too fate has accomplished its barbaric witchcraft. I’m the prince, son of king Uther, the man who has killed and will kill again for magic. And you’re a servant, Guinevere, close to me to the point of taking my breath away everytime you pass me by, yet so far I can’t even feel the warmth of your presence.

You will never know all this. Like no one will. My own apparent indifference will keep protecting me.

And you... I’m made you somehow a participant of my own meagre fate, I won’t vex you with the weight of my thoughts as well.

There’s already too much pain in the air.

And yet, when you’re here, it’s almost like I can’t feel it.

One day we are going to defeat this fate, Guinevere.   


End file.
